DID A SCHOOL (LGS) JUST TOOK A LIFE OF A YOUNG WOMEN?

Those of you who are blaming the school and it's teachers for Maryam's death, stop criticizing the education system. Every school has it's policies and if you don't follow these policies you will definitely face disapproval from the admin. Scolding students for entering the class 5 minutes late and not completing their attendance requirement is only helpful to them in long term. I'm not saying that school was right to not support her on her choices but that is not the only reason for the depression she suffered from. If a student passes away it does not necessarily mean that the education system she studied in was flawed. I might sound heartless while saying this but her mother (maybe due to her emotional state) is only pointing out the negative aspects of school, what about the activities in which school totally supported her (directly or indirectly)? Every student goes under some kind of pressure in school but school cannot individually cater each student's mental health needs, it's primarily PARENT'S responsibility to take care of their child's mental health.

Also the irony is; there is huge difference in Maryam's mother's attitude. The last time we listened to her at prize distribution ceremony she said she was thankful to the school and stated that her daughter was a depressed child who needed your love and you all gave it to her and referred to us as "my Maryams". No idea what has changed her mind now.

We believe whatever we hear on media and start promoting it without knowing the complete facts. There is also stuff we hear from her close friends; like she was depressed due to family issues which forced her to take anti-depressants and she did not get as much attention from her mother as a child should usually get. Then why are we neglecting these statements. If you really want to evaluate the causes of someone's death then look at all the factors first. She was a daughter, friend, cousin, niece and much more than just a student. A young student's death does not mean that the school took away her life!

Read More

MAKE YOUR DAUGHTER'S A PRODUCTIVE MEMBER OF SOCIETY ! GIVE THEM SOME FREEDOM !

I’ve realized that we expect young girls to know certain things without giving them the opportunity to learn them.

They’re not trusted with a car alone but are ridiculed for not knowing how it works and what goes into fixing minor glitches.

Girls in green playing national/international sports invite all kinds of jokes/criticism/snipes but an average girl is teased for not knowing the mechanics of tennis/cricket/soccer.

They’re not trusted with their accounts/property dealings but are mocked at for not knowing the technicalities of these complicated transactions.

They are not allowed to spend more time out of the house with their friends without a Damocles sword hanging over their head to return home before it’s “too late” and yet they’re told they’re too compulsive and don’t know how to engage with people.

They’re not encouraged to participate in our ever so passionate drawing room conversations on politics and the world but they’re criticized for not knowing enough about how the world’s running. (Sit back, shut up and listen.)

If they’re not born genius, they’re soon relegated to obscurity of the “ordinary girl” (Too bad she doesn’t act like a computer at the age of 5. No use sending her to college.)

They're not a liability but they're turned into one. No second chances.

They’re hastily put into rigid binaries of “different” and “ordinary” and that’s supposed to be a compliment.

They’re not taught self-defense yet they’re called weak.

You’re just a girl. You don’t know how the world works.
Yes. Because you made me so afraid of falling down that I never had the heart to try. I “arranged whatever pieces came my way”

Read More

STORY OF A YOUNG MAN FIGHTING DEPRESSION

FIGHTING DEPRESSION

Following is interview of one of my dear friend. (anonymous). In the following interview, I asked

him to narrate me any short event that taught him a lesson or was worth experiencing but in reply he summarized his whole life in front of me. He narrates the dips and high points in his life. The following is written in first in first Peron point of view.

I’ll start my story from my school days that taught me many things and I was too scared to go to the school and couldn’t handle much pressure in early days. My mind was too preoccupied to even think about sleeping. It was 4:00 a.m. . . . A part in me kept reminding that there was school tomorrow, but the other part could not help but think; think how miserable my life had come to be. My grandfather was suffering from Dementia (a chronic or persistent disorder of the mental processes caused by brain disease or injury and marked by memory disorders, personality changes, and impaired reasoning. Source Google). The same person who loved his family more than himself, had now forgotten it. I vividly remember how he used to drink tea with me, help me in studies and praise me as if I am the most extraordinary child; but it was just today that he forgot who I was. It was with a heavy heart that I reminded him I was his eldest grandson *****, whom he had named himself. My mother was depressive too. She had even attempted suicide when I was in 6^th grade. What else, she had lost her mother and I could only pray that I do not lose mine.

Then moving into my teenage years here I almost found love of my life. There was a girl in school who could make all my worries disappear. Her smile meant me smiling. Her laugh got me laughing. Her being on my side was enough for me to deal with the troubles at home. She was my soul-mate. I had fallen in love with her. However, my only ray of happiness soon faded away. She too turned out to be tragically depressive. Her previous failed relationship made her feel alone and detached from the world. She meant the world to me but I felt helpless. How could I help her when helping her meant destroying myself? I knew my feelings were too strong to be just friends with her. Staying by her side, knowing that I could not have her as my significant other, would make me die from the inside. The best option, I felt, was to ignore her and let time heal the wounds.

My world felt empty. I asked myself. Why was fate treating me like this? What wrong had I done? I was whining to myself when I noticed something unusual in my father. Behind those glasses, he had red, swollen eyes. Why would he be crying? I thought to myself.

I finally realized.

I realized that it was his dad, who loved his only son more than anything, suffering from Dementia. I realized it was his loving wife of eighteen years who he had lost to depression. I realized it was his family which had broken apart. With a cold sweat, I also realized how I must have broken his heart when he asked me why I do not smile and I coldly replied that there was no reason to. I rushed and hugged him hard. “You’re not alone dad.” I cried. “We have each other.” He finally smiled. His blank eyes filled with life once again. I for the first time acted like the eldest son. It was a life lesson.

My father believes that his love was much greater than the troubles he was facing and thus, always had the strength to continue. Sometimes, we cannot control what happens to us but what we can control is how we deal with it. A pessimistic attitude leads one nowhere. It is only the best of people who find opportunities in the darkest of times. He showed me that love is selfless; it is great enough to make you care more about the person you love than for your own feelings.

When it comes to analyzing this interview I totally get mesmerized and blown away. I’ve known this person for past 8 years of my life and never have I ever listened to his whole story with this focus. I was always fond of him but not because of his hardships but because how he carried himself around he’s a genius in studies and is becoming a doctor.

The part the interested me the most is how he was cry and wiping about his low life and saw a light in his father’s eyes which he wasn’t able to see for many years how the hope was in front of him but he never realized it. The most interesting thing is that nothing happened that was out of blue to make his depression go away but his father’s eyes still managed to grasp his attention and dug him out of his long-lasting depression. Defiantly everyone goes through depression in some part of their lives and some people have a lot more tough life than other’s. It’s hard to find joys of life in different aspects but one should always try, like he tried to find the joy in his friend which he loved but found out that she was also facing many issues and totally unexpected from the situation he found a ray of joy in his father’s eyes that made him focused and made him to learn what life is after all.

What I think about this experience is very clear I implement his mind set most of the times and make my family source of my joy. In these times, most teenagers get irritated by their family but I try not to think in that side. I am sure that my love for my family is great enough to stand by my side.

Read More