CONFESSION OF A STUDENT AFTER A SUICIDE ATTEMPT

Recently i tried an attempt to suicide, but luckily I survived.
I wish I was able to move out but the only funds I have are enough to pay tuition. My parents stress me out... especially my mom. The other day she got angry at me for refusing to eat quinoa and flipped the plate with my other food on it while I was eating after I did what she asked and added quinoa. I started crying and she got angrier and took the quinoa that was left on my plate and smeared it all over my face and hair and pushed me to the ground. I tried to tell her that the reason I didn't want to eat it was because I liked the other food she cooked when she said I don't appreciate her cooking. She told me if I wanted to leave like my sister, I should just leave. By God's grace, even when I felt heartbroken, I had strength to wipe my tears and carry on the day with silence. I cleaned the mess and went to my room to study for my test. I just hope it doesn't get as bad as that one time when I'm studying full time. Sometimes, I'm just tired and may be rude or act irritated to my mom so I may roll my eyes or my tone would be wrong but it does not excuse punishment out of rage whether it's physical or emotional... I envy the people who have it good with their parents but I'm also happy for them that they don't have my life